back to work... again

Well now, here's an unexpected thing - I'm going to be back to my normal place of work next week.

I wasn't really expecting to be back until April at the very earliest, but it's basically worked out that I've finished the report I was doing and it needs reviewing.  Well, that's part f the reason.  The other reason is that they've basically run out of money!

I'll be returning to my contracting place the week after.  In theory it should be for a week, but I dunno - I've a feeling it will either be longer or short.  Longer will require an extension and shorter is if the report is really great and they don't want anything doing (unlikely).

I'm not sure if I want an extension.  I haven't really being enjoying it down there if I'm honest, but it brings money in to the company and with the economic situation it's not exactly a bad idea to be seen to be earning money to cover my wage.

But if I'm really honest I think I want to get a new job.  I'm getting a bit bored with the current situation.

Trouble there is I don't really want to land the company in the lurch - I don't want to get some long extension and then after a few months say "actually, here's my resignation, I'm off!"

Of course there's a massive assumption that I could possibly find a new job!  Certainly I've been struggling to do my CV (I can't for the life of me remember what GCSEs and A-Levels I got and it's hard to squish everything else in to a couple of pages).

Anyway, I guess the upshot is that I might be posting stuff next week during the week, back t normal.  I say guess because I've no idea how busy I might be at work - I don't know if there'll be nothing for me to do or they'll give me too much to do.  Certainly they've given away my computer to someone else...

tiring, to say the least

So last week I mentioned I'd come down with yet another cold.

I seem to have suffered from a succession of colds in recent months.  This is essentially a reflection of being exposed to a greater variety of people and it being cold season, but it ends up feeling like some weird pattern when there have been this many - 4 by my reckoning across the last four months.

The weirdest thing about this last one was that it followed exactly the same disease pattern as the first one I had in the sequence, which makes it feel like even more of a pattern.

Basically it first made itself felt on Friday evening with a vague sense of it being there and then across Saturday I started to get proper symptoms.  Saturday night I felt properly unwell and the evening and night were spent alternately running hot and cold and I got very little sleep.

Sunday I felt absolutely awful, partly due to the cold and partly due to the lack of sleep.  Monday I woke up and felt much better, but the more traditional cold symptoms hit with a vengeance and my nose runs like it's a leaky tap all day.

Tuesday I felt better still, but the symptoms have moved on to a dry, tickly cough, though thankfully the nose is more bunged up than runny.  Wednesday the cough is basically all gone and I just feel a bit congested, rather than properly bunged up.

Thursday, apart from a slightly croaky throat you probably wouldn't know I'd had a cold at all.  Which, as I say, was exactly the same pattern as the first cold I got in this sequence.

One of the things I'm not sure of is does this represent an improvement in my constitution?  Now that I can do things like walk up a hill without my heart wanting to explode out of my chest has that meant I'm now better able to fight things like colds and so the symptoms follow the same basic pattern for all but the nastiest/luckiest of bugs?

Or is it more that I essentially caught the same strain of cold, and it had simply mutated enough that my immune system couldn't take care of it instantly?

What made it all worse was that I had a report to do for Wednesday, so really where I should have taken Monday at the least off, I felt I couldn't.  And because it took so long to do the report I've actually done 1.5 hours extra last week, and that's with only doing short days on Thursday and Friday.  It really wasn't much fun and I've been knackered this weekend as a result.

Still, at least that means I get to do 1.5 hours less this next week!  ... except I have a dental appointment and my car is in for a service and MOT, so I'm going to spend a small fortune :(.

Anyway, in other news, the Formula 1 season gets under way next weekend with the Australian Grand Prix.  It's also the first of the double headers, with the Malaysian Grand Prix following the very next weekend.  I'm hoping these double headers work out okay for me - I'm a bit worried that two weeks on a row will pox up my timings and schedulings.

I'm not sure on that front if the BBC only showing highlights will help or hinder me.  And by that I mean TV highlights - they actually appear to be doing more on Radio than they used to, so in a weird way there may be more for me to watch/listen to each weekend than last year!

One thing I have noticed is that the TV Programme Guide listing thing for my PVR doesn't have the race listed as being on Sky Sports 1 or 2.  I don't actually have them, but you can get them via top-up TV and I was umming and erring over whether I should give it a go and it looks like I made a wise decision not too.

It does leave me wondering how the hell the sky thing is going to work - I could understand practice not being on there but if the main race and practice aren't then where are they showing them?  Sky Sports 3 & 4?  That feels like they're really being relegated to nowhere land.

Or could you only get access by subscribing to this dedicated Formula 1 channel they're doing?  Is that an additional channel you can only have if you take out a full Sky Sports subscription as well?

I can see why Bernie approved - more ways to fleece the ordinary F1 fans (and everyone else) seems to fit right in with his modus operandi!

under the weather

So last week's post has proven to be unfortunately prophetic.

One of the reasons I dismissed for why I hadn't blogged was that I'd been ill.  Well, this week I am ill - hurrah and huzzah!

Actually, not either of those things, as I've felt bloody awful most of the weekend.  I think it's a cold.  I say think because I felt a lot worse than my symptoms match up with - I've only had a little bit of a runny nose and there's been no cough to speak of.  Instead I've felt really achy and tired and had a bit of a 'behind the eyes' headache.  Last night I was also boiling up and had to shed my duvet and then promptly felt freezing.

I've actually just started to feel a bit better as I type this.  I'm not sure if that means I'm over the hump of it or I'm simply about to move from this feeling awful phase in to more traditional symptoms.

But also, weirdly, the weather has been crap today.  It's basically drizzled and rained  all day, so I've been under the weather because of that too.  It actually snowed a little while back.  IT was obviously way to warm and wet for it to settle, but odd nonetheless.

It meant I couldn't have gone out for my walks today, even if I'd felt better than I do.

I'm not really surprised I've come down with something if I'm honest.  There's been a lot of people ill at work and they're great big open plan offices with loads of people crammed in.  That means that if anyone gets a cold and is coughing and sneezing it can easily infect loads of people who are close by.  It's also an air conditioned building, so that helps to spread germs too.

Plus I've had a hell of week.  I had to go to a meeting in London on Tuesday and it was horrendous.

The meeting was great, it was the rest of it that was crap.  They had me rent a car, which was quite stressful, because you're always a bit nervous when it comes to a new vehicle and of course I had to travel around the M25 in rush hour.

Which took the best part of two hours going there and two hours going back.  The worst bit was getting on to the M25 going there - it took bloody ages and I regretted taking the route I did.  Going back it took ages mainly because I hadn't had a chance to eat anything all day and so I had to go and get something to eat.  But that meant I was then driving home in the dark and I could not for the life of me work out how to switch on the headlights.

The vehicle was a Vauxhall Corsa and it had the usual storks behind the steering wheel that allowed you to turn the indicators on and do the windscreen wipers.  However, in every car I've ever driven the stork that does the indicators also does the headlights.  But not here.

It lets you put the lights on full beam, but not turn them on!

Eventually after everybody flashing and beeping me and me getting worried the police might pull me over I stopped and tried to work out how to do it.  Well it turns out that, in order to turn the lights on there's a rotary dial down by your right knee.  I mean, what the hell is it doing down there?

There were two controls on the indicator stalk that I'd been playing with thinking they were the headlights, but Christ knows what they did.

Plus I was desperately trying to get a report somewhere near finished by the end of the week, which I basically failed to do.

So yeah, it was a horribly stressful and tiring week, so it's no wonder I caught some bug.

On the upside, my concerted staying in bed has meant I've cleared a load of telly stuff that had gotten backlogged, which is always nice.

the blog that never blogged

So there's clearly been no blog for a couple of weeks.

There's not any particularly good reason for that - I've not been ill and the contracting position technically demands less hours from me per week that my normal position.  There is a reason for the non-bloggage, though... sort of.

Basically the difficulty I'm having is that my "interweb life" (if you will) was so well integrated into my normal day job that this move to the contracting position has almost expunged it.  What do I mean by that?  well, my normal job we have internet at desk and my desk isn't particularly overlooked, so I can basically surf the web at work.

That means that all my daily blog posts were pretty much written at work, I surfed the forums I visit at work, I did internet shopping at work, etc, etc.  Now don't get me wrong - we all did that, and part of the whole inflexibility of work hours where I usually work is made up for by this relatively relaxed attitude.

When you're on contract that's not really the case.  Even if it was possible to do all the surfing I used to (it isn't for a variety of reasons) it would hardly look appropriate to the customer if he watched me spend half an hour buying manga on amazon, even if in reality I was still doing the allotted number of hours of work I'm supposed to.

See, were I'm contracting they work flex and they're only paying for 37 hours of my time per week.  Well in my usual job it was more about being sat at your desk from 9 to 5:30 and in reality I would actually do more like 8:15 to 6:45.  However, as mentioned in my regular job I could spend time surfing the interweb, but can't in my contracting work.

Which is where the problem comes - if I'm doing 37 hours a week then that's a lot less time than 8:15 to 5:45.  Okay, it's a lot longer commute (it takes about 3 times as much time) but still, I should be time rich.  and I am.  Trouble is it's always been the case that, having spent all day working on a computer, when I come home I'm often rather loathe to spend time on it in the evening as well.

And even when I do, the tendency is to want to spend time doing fun stuff like gaming than going through all the e-mails and stuff that I would have ploughed through during my day at my usual work.

That tendency has also always extended to the weekend, where I tend to not spend a huge amount of time on the computer doing things like writing blog posts.  I'm generally doing other stuff or I'm wanting to do other stuff.

I mean, that's why I spent all morning today going through pages of e-mails and newsletters and articles I follow.  I literally spent about 5 hours doing it and still have half of them left.  It's actually quite an eye opener for how much time I must normally spend at work doing all this stuff!

And I've just heard that they might want to extend my contract for a bit.

To be totally frank I'm not massively enjoying what I'm doing.  I mean it's okay and it's something a bit different, but it's really not playing to my strengths and I kinda thought that it would do when I started.

game me away

This weekend I've spenty most of my free time playing games.

I did the same last weekend, but there's a key difference - this weekend it feels like I've bumbed the time away, not doing anything that's really productive.  And I still feel that, even though I spent half the time last weekend waiting for the game to install.

I mean, that's pretty much wasted time - I wasn't actually playing the game, but I couldn't really just leave it in case anything went wrong and it needed my attention.  But still, it's this weekend that I feel I've wasted the time.

So why the difference?  In both instances I was gaming, but last weekend I played a game I'd never played before - homefront- whereas this weekend I've been playing Civ 3.

Homefront was okay.  It was a first person shooter and has a very similar story to modern warfare, in that America is being invaded and you have to fight the invaders.  In homefront you're a resistance fighter, which actually makes it a bit more like a cross between half life 2 and modern warfare.

In homefront it was the Koreans invading, rather than the Russians.  However, it didn't make a huge difference, although the plot was different enough to make it interesting.  And it's not a bad plot - it's a bit cliché and a bit jingo-istic, but well enough executed to be enjoyable.

It was very short, though.  I was sort of expecting it would take me a couple of days to get through, especially with the huge time it took to load, but it only took about 6 hours of playing.  And that's bearing in mind I'm crap at games and there are no cheat codes to help me.

The load time really was long.  Part of the problem was that initially it tried to install from steam, despite having it on disk.  However, I recalled you can get it to install from disk and once I'd done that it was quite quick.

The bit that took ages was once it had been installed it then went and downloaded updates from steam.  Obviously there was nothing I could really do about that apart from let it do it, but the real problem was that the updates were around 4.5gb!

To put that into some sort of perspective, the game installed from disk was about 7.5gb.  That means the updates were more than half as much again. 

Obviously I was hooked up to the cable broadband, but 4.5 soon ate through the limits and the throttling kicked in, so it must have taken something like 3 hours to install all the updates!

Quite how they can release a game that then acquires 4.5gb of updates, I don't know.

Anyway, homefront was okay, if short, so that was fine.

Problem has been this week I've been listening tot eh civ5 podcasts when I've been walking.  I've had these for ages and figured I should finally listen to them.  And listening them gave me a strong hankering to play civ3.

I know 3 - 5 - eh?  Well, problem with 5 is I'd need to uninstall homefront and then steam then reinstall steam and re-install 5.  I played it very briefly when I first got 5 but it was so buggy I gave up almost immediately...which made me afraid I would have another 4 hour session downloading updates!

So Installed 3.  What I should have done is waited until Sunday, but I installed it early on Saturday and it's only really now on Sunday evening I'm thinking about putting it on hold for the rest of the day.

I mean, don't get me wrong, I've enjoyed playing it, but I should be doing something like playing another game I haven't played.  Not least of all because if it's not so good I could sell it on e-bay.

Not that e-bay's a hugely practical proposition at the moment, with the contracting.  However, I think I'm finally getting my head around the timings with the flexi-time.  I even went and did a bit of washing on Friday evening, which was good as it freed me up to go get a haircut on Saturday morning, rather than sit in the laundrette.

As I say, now that I'm getting used to it, hopefully I'll get some more time to do different bits in the evening.

It snowed last night, but it's been a little warmer today and there's been no additional snow and no indication on the forecast it will snow, so I don't think the place I'm working will be closed.  Hopefully this is the only bit of snow we have this year.  It's been quite mild this winter and I think we really needed one - the last few have just been a real drag.

two down, ten to go

So the second week on my contracting job has finished.

It was a bit better this week in some ways.  I got a better idea of what I'm meant to be doing, but it's not really my cup of tea.  I mean, it's interesting, but not really the sort of work I'd have brought me in for.

Part of the problem is I'm meant to be doing two projects, but one of them has basically evaporated.  In a way that's good as I don't know that what I've been given to do would really fit into the time unless I was able to work on it full time.

The commute is going to be a bit of a drag.  It's turning out to be just under an hour, but only if I do two things: set off before seven and push it on the A3.

This clearly has two issues - it means I have to get up at 6AM and it's costing me in fuel economy.  The first isn't too bad, as I'm a bit of an early riser, although I have to say 6AM is probably my breaking point.  6:30AM I've been doing for years, but 6AM has a bit too much of an impact on when I have to go to bed (I have to get 8 hours every night or I feel cranky all day).

Since it's only 3 months, I can probably cope with the time, but the fuel economy is more of a bugger.  See, the real issue is that the cost of petrol is so high and my company's fuel allowance is pretty crap.  That means I'm not really making much over and above what I'm spending.  Now, that's okay in the sense that at least I'm not out of pocket, except of course that the increased mileage means increased wear on tyres, more frequent services, etc, etc.  And those things are pretty expensive.

Again, 3 months will be okay, but I really wouldn't want to do this long term.

Well, I say that, as there are other options.

Firstly, I could not push it and just arrive when I arrive.  That means the journey will take a long time if I still set off early, because I'll start to hit traffic relating to kids going to school.

The other option is to go in later.  They work flexi where I'm contracting, and at the moment I'm going to work early so I can come home early.  I could alternatively try to go in later and come back later.

I'm not really sure about this, as I am a 'lark', rather than an 'owl' and my body clock is really locked in to doing early, rather than later.

Also, there are going to be days when I have early meetings, etc, anyway.

Part of me is still hopeful that I'll have a bit of a gain of time in the evenings, though.  Because I can do flexi, I can take short lunches and stuff, so once I'm properly used to it I will hopefully have a few extra hours in the evenings across the week.

My weight basically didn't change this week.  To some extent that was because I found work less stressful, I think, but also I had a poor week diet wise anyway, and then my landlord came back from holiday and gave me a gift of chocolates to say thanks for house-sitting... and I ate the lot in a few days :/

I think if I can avoid slipping up too badly with normal diet stuff then I should get back to weight loss next week.  The idea of going for a walk after work is an okay one.  It doesn't work quite as well as my former walking regime and I think it might be a case of picking days to do it on.  For example, some evenings I can get petrol or shopping or whatever and the other I can come back and go for a walk.

first week

So, my first weekend blog post.

My original plan was I would actually post on both Saturday and Sunday, but to be honest I pretty much forgot to do one yesterday.

Anyway, what have I been up to?

Well, obviously I started my new contracting job this week.  That doesn’t mean I lost my job or anything, but it does mean I’ve been working at a different location.  The best way to think about it is the (much maligned) consultants.  I mean, I’m not a consultant, but it’s the thing people know that’s similar.

The job was... okay.

When I did the interview there was lots of talk of the type of work that I enjoy.  I won’t really talk about the detail, but it was to be quite technical and number-crunchy - that sort of thing.

However, it’s become apparent that this part of the work has kinda ‘cooled’ a bit.  I’ve not had specific confirmation that it’s no longer needed, but there’s been some strong hints that the looming deadlines aren’t really that looming any more.

Now the last time this happened to me it was with the same group and what happened on that occasion was that I ended up playing about with something that didn’t really need doing.  In essence they had to make up something for me to do, and it was very apparent.

While I sort of enjoyed doing what I was doing it wasn’t really productive, so I felt a bit rubbish about it.  When I’m doing contracting I like to be working on something properly so that it feels like I’m giving value for money.

This time there’s not the same problem.  There were actually two projects that needed input and the second one hasn’t dried up.  It therefore doesn’t feel like I’m thumb-twiddling, so that’s good.

What’s not so good is that the work I’m doing really doesn’t play to my strengths at all.  In essences I’m having to do lots of phoning around and trying to get things from people.  This is the sort of thing I really don’t like.

What makes it worse is that I’m not really 100% sure what it is I’m asking for.  Again, I won’t give specifics, but there are two basic issues.  Firstly, I don’t really know much about what this group does and so I’ve been given a very steep learning curve.  Secondly, I’ve not had the clearest instruction and have basically been dropped in the deep end - I’m coming in after some work has been done, but not much, and I’ve also not yet gotten access to the background.

As such, I’m kinda calling people up going “Any chance I can have some x?” and they’re going “maybe - what sort of x do you need?  how much and what, specifically about?” and unfortunately my reply has tended to be “er... I’m not sure.”

Hopefully I should get better access to the background next week and find my feet more.

What also hasn’t helped is that I’ve had to do loads of “training” and induction stuff.  It’s good that it was all set up and ready to go (last time I worked there it was days before I even got a computer) but it  means it’s all been a massive info dump.  I’m also having to hot desk, which is rubbish.

The commute has also turned out to be a bit longer than expected.  Well, I can do it in the anticipated hour if I set off at seven, but if I set off much later than that, then it takes about an hour and a quarter.  That means I’m getting up at six.

The up side to it is that I should therefore be able to go home at four, but I’ve not really been able to take advantage of that yet.  This also means I struggled to do my idea of going for a short walk after work each day.  Although saying that I lost four pounds this week, but I think that could be due to diet re-adjustment and stress and lack of sleep and stuff, rather than effective diet and exercise activities.

Although to be fair I think part of this is because my landlord has been away, so I’ve been having to fart about sorting the lights out and stuff.

Well, until next week, I guess.

porky time

Well, this is the last blog of the week and I’m also pretty sure it’s going to be the last daily weekday blog for a while.

As mentioned before chrimbo I’m starting on contract and it will be impossible to update the blog at work from now on.  Since I’m probably not going to be keen to then spend time in the evening doing it (I’m pushed to do much more than watch TV) this will therefore become a weekend blog.

Quite how that will work I’m not sure, but I’ll see what I feel like.

The last thing I did want to mention was my dietary progress over the holiday.  Or rather the exact opposite.

Before the holiday I weighed in at 18 stone 10 pounds. When I weighed myself this last weekend I weighed 19 stone 4 pounds.  That’s a gain of 8 pounds, or just a smidge over half a stone.

I did actually gain  little more than that, as I weighed myself during the holiday and weighed 19 stone 6 pounds, but I actually had the same phenomenon that I had last year where I ate a lot and then it took a while for my digestive system to... “catch up” if you will.

Indeed, this year I actually had a few occasions where I had serous gut pain during the night.  It was the same as the pain I’ve had before when I've seriously over eaten.

Part of the problem is that I went a bit nuts before Chrimbo buying stuff “because I was going to treat myself” over the holiday.  But then my dad also loaded me up with loads of food to take back with me that he’d bought.  Quit why he’d bought so much when he knew we were both only going to be there for a little while I don’t know.

And yes, some of it I could have been sensible and left in the freezer or not opened, but then I’d have been faced with weird meals where you’re only having half of what you expect (so bangers and mash without the bangers, because they’ve been put in the freezer :/) and also after the holiday way over, what then?

Would I have to drip feed ‘bad stuff’ in?  Throw it away?  Or what?

So I essentially forced myself in to a situation of having to eat a lot.

I did still keep walking and did some good walks, although it wasn’t really part of the holiday plan to do walking like I do in autumn or whatever.  However, I think those helped me keep things in check a bit.

Anyway, I’ve now pretty much finished it all off, so it’ll be back to bread and water and lettuce next week.

Also, I think I've come up with a bit of a plan for what to do in terms of walking when I’m on contract.  Basically my problem is that it will be an hour commute each way, but I will have the advantage of working flexi time.  As such, my plan is that I will only take a minimal lunch and then I’ll do a single, reasonable length walk when I get back (literally when I arrive home I'll go for a walk).

Before I was doing three short-sharp walks in and around the estate where my offices are (when I got to work (I’m always super early), at lunch and then straight after work, before I got in my car).  I’m hoping these should be equivalent - especially since the walk I have in mind will involve some steep inclines, making it harder work.

the rest of the break

So when I returned from my Dads I obviously wasn't feeling great, as the second cold was still in full swing.

This cold wasn’t quite as intense as the first one, but it seems to have lasted longer - I’m still sniffling now a good couple of weeks later.  What this did mean is that the week between Chrimbo and the New Year wasn't as fun as it could have been.

I’d arranged to see a few chums and while I did do most of those I generally didn’t drink very much and tended to go home early and stuff.  Still, it was nice to see them.

New Years was actually relatively quite.  I still wasn’t fully recovered, and I have to confess I don’t find New Years to be that good of an experience anyway.

The problem is that everyone is out.  So if you go out with the intention of getting drunk it can be quite difficult getting any drinks as all the bars are swamped.  Alternatively you could go to some ticketed event, which can be okay, but can also be expensive.

Also I’ve never been much of one for enforced jollity.  It's part of why I’m not hugely ken on celebrating my birthday - it feels like an obligation, rather than something you’re doing for genuine fun, if you see what I mean.

Anyway, the week after New Years was when I entered that lovely bit where I am basically the only one on holiday.  That’s obviously not true at all, but where the week before most people are off, that first week is more like a proper break.

I like it particularly because it’s time entirely to myself.  It’s holiday I take most years when I can and is a great chance to get caught up on lots of the random stuff I put off or ignore or whatever.

So I gave my flat a really good clean, for example.  I also washed some of the more random clothing items, like my dressing gown and oven gloves.  And I got my suits dry cleaned.  I know - these aren’t glamorous things, but it’s a good time to do them.

Apparently, in Japan, they traditionally give the house and work and stuff a big clean up so that they can enter into the new year with a ‘clean start’.  I kinda try to do the same, I guess.

Of course I’d planned into the time way too much to do.  I’d created a big long list of stuff and I’d have needed to take six months off to do it all!  As such I pruned it down to the bear essentials and focused on a couple of things I thought I could achieve in the time.

I almost managed to get them finished and I reckon I’ll use this next weekend to knock them on the head.  They’re also things that should save me a little bit of money when I’m done, so that’s always nice.

white noise 2 - the light

I watched a few rental DVDs over the Christmas period, the first of which was white noise 2.

I seem to recall I quite liked the first white noise, mainly because the ending was somewhat unexpected.  It led up to something that, while I don't think I would really classify it as a twist, was quite an interesting ending.

The second film is less successful.

Mainly, I have to confess, because it seems to go in a direction that isn't really a proper follow-on to the first film.  In the first film the idea is that the souls of the dead are essentially captured in radio and television static - hence the white noise.

While it's bunkum in terms of spirits, this is a known phenomenon, where, if you record static occasionally bits of it - interference in particular - will sound a bit like someone speaking.  The human brain is particularly attuned to pattern finding, and these noises, with a bit of imagination, can seem to sound like words being spoken.

So the first film used this idea as if it really was spirits communicating, with the main character being recently bereaved.

In the second film it kinda tries to tie it in to the static idea, but takes it in a direction that is really similar to the Final Destination series.

In those films someone gets a premonition of their death as part of some big, tragic disaster and then manages to take themselves and some other people out of the line of fire.  However, death then 'pursues' them, essentially trying to bump them off in the order they should have died.

In this second white noise film, the main character acquires a similar sort of power - the static now seems to point out to him people who are about to die, giving him the opportunity to save their lives.

Now there is more of a traditional twist to this story (which I saw coming a mile off so that probably suggest it isn't a very good twist) but the problem is, because it feels like it's a cobbling together of the two films and doesn't really follow on from the effect used in the first, it feels a lot less original.

Also, where the first film was built on a known effect that anyone can encounter, this second film endows the main character with special powers.  And they're special powers that seem to give him a view of things that nobody else does.

I mean, it'd be okay if they worked it so that everyone sees the effect, but only he interprets it in that way or sees something extra, but no - only he sees it, and it's a definite thing and is never really cast doubt on.

I'm being quite harsh on the film - it's not really bad as such, it's just the first film worked a lot better.