moon shine

I had a terrible night's sleep last night.

It didn't get off to a good start in that I was rather late going to bed, but this was made worse by the fact that the moon seemed to be incredibly bright.  I think it was due to a lack of clouds and an unfortunate coincidence of timing to when I went to sleep, but it was like having a spotlight on outside the window.

I'm kinda used to having "spotlights" out that particular window, as the neighbours are total fuckers for leaving really bright lights on or not closing their curtains (one lot don't even have any curtains).  My technique for cutting out the light is therefore quite developed and involves the use of black bin bags.

Well that worked okay, but the moon was so bright that its light was reflecting off of stuff in the front garden on the opposite side and making that really bright too.  I wasn't really prepared for that, so I improvised something together but it wasn't perfect.

It was also rather chilly, which meant I had to put the heating on and got the timings all wrong so that it was too hot when I went to bed (a reflection of going to bed too late as well, to be honest).

Once I did get away I slept pretty well, but then in the very early hours I was awoken by a desperate need to go to the toilet.  Now I 'm actually kinda used to this as nowadays my bladder struggles to go an entire night without me needing to get up to pee.

However, this was around the other side shall we say.

It was actually revenge from the weekend when I ate a load of fruit and high fibre stuff.  Las week was really bad in that I was basically hungry all the time and by the weekend I was kinda struggling not to eat crap so I ended up buying lots of fruit and cereals.

My diet was therefore rather high fibre and while my guts are generally pretty strong such an influx has consequences.  And last night those consequences hit (not wanting to dwell too much but my transit times have always been slow - most people it would have hit them a lot sooner).

Anyway, while I wouldn't classify it as diarrhoea or anything I did have to get up to go a couple of times.  I therefore was really awake by about 5AM and decided to just cut my losses and ended up watching some telly I'd recorded.

I'm therefore quite tired as I write this.  To be honest it hasn't helped things that I've been setting up my new computer.  I mean that's something I enjoy, but it's always weirdly stressful and tiring.  Well, it's quite intense anyway.

The new machine is quite good.  It's not a super powerful machine (especially compared to what I've got at home) but it's a lot quicker than my current machine and light years ahead of anything else in the office.

same old same old

Well, I'm back in the office.

Feels weird, but also feels the same.

There have been a couple of changes.  There's a new face in the office, for example.  We've also bought a couple of new PCs (a very rare event).  There are a few changes to processes and procedures.

Unfortunately not enough and not in a direction where I think we should be going.

I actually had a really long chat about it with my Dad over the weekend.  It was weird as I hadn't really articulated the situation to anybody else previously.  I mean, I've mentioned bits on the blog, but that's a different thing, and I found that in trying to explain it I actually got a better grip on why I'm feeling the way I am.

I actually started feeling this way because of the contracting position, but coming back has thrown into focus that really the issues are a bit deeper than that.

The real nub of the problem is that I think we should be doing certain things in certain ways.  However, in order for them to be done in that way I would need to have more responsibility.  I'd need to be in charge of this part of the company.

But we're a tiny company.  The only way I think I would get that control is, in essence, if the MD retired or I did a management buy out or something equally unlikely and/or scary.

If I was in a larger company there would be more scope for me to be in charge of this bit (or a subset of the bit) without needing to take over the entire company.  I think this is my basic thought process, though obviously it's a bit more subtle than that and there are other complicating issues.

The difficulty is I do like working for the company and I think I still like the types of stuff we do and I like most (I confess not all) of the people who work for the company.

As I say I think the ideal thing would be if there were changes to the company, but I just don't see that happening any time soon.