still a bit rubbish

Guess what I did on Saturday?

No, not that, you filthy degenerate...

Having read through my own pathetic dribblings on Friday after posting them I got a grip and took some rubbish down the recycling place.

You may recall that I'd investigated the Alton recycling centre as a possible option given I work just down the road from it and as part of my investigations I'd discovered it actually opens at 8am on Saturday as well.

My local one in Farnham doesn't open until 9am at weekends, which is just getting into that zone where most people are becoming active. One of the advantages of my body-clock being fixated on an early start is that it gives me the perfect opportunity to go and do stuff like shopping really early at the weekend.

So what I did was load the car up on Saturday and take it all to Alton recycling centre. This turned out to be slightly scarier than I'd thought it would be, because it seemed the police where doing a speeding check thing on the A31 in Farnham. That meant I had to drive past a load of coppers with my car dodgily full of boxes and stuff.

I'm never sure if loading your car in this was is quite legal. I think it probably comes down to one of those it should be "safe" things, which essentially means a judgement call. Anyway, they didn't stop me so I pootled on down there and unloaded my stuff.

The Alton place is a lot better designed than the Farnham one. At Farnham you have to climb stairs to be able to throw your stuff in the big containers (which if I'm honest didn't help with my laziness problem) but at Alton the containers are lower down so you're at the right level to just chuck your stuff in.

As it turned out, and kinda as I'd been expecting, a good chunk of my rubbish went into the 'domestic waste' bin, which basically means it was landfill and not recycling as I'd expected.

The other thing Id' suspected was that the old electrical bits and bobs don't actually go in a container at all. Instead, you basically dump them in an area close to the workers hut thing. My guess is that they go through this stuff to see what it's made of and if it still works and stuff.

And to give you some idea of just how much crap I've accumulated, even though I packed my car as full as was sensible and I've still got loads of crap to chuck. Now admittedly my car is only a micra, but that's a lot of rubbish given the size of my bedsit. And on top of that, I've still got loads of sorting out to do and there's therefore bound to be loads more of crap to chuck.

why i'm rubbish

This morning was the perfect example of one of the many ways in which I'm rubbish.

I tend to get in to work very early. Officially my work day doesn't start until 9, but I'm usually in just after 8. Well this morning I used that earliness in order to pop over to Sainsbury's and drop off some recycling at their recycling place.

This is fair enough, you may think. I mentioned how over my holiday I was furiously sorting through boxes and had identified loads of stuff to chuck away or send to recycling.

But what makes me rubbish is that I've been carrying around the bits and bobs I recycled this morning with me all week.

Now the reason I've had them in there all week are as follows:

I put them in my boot on Monday morning. My thought was I'd put them in the recycling bins at Tesco that lunch time when I went shopping. I didn't do that because there just wasn't the time. By the time I'd got my bits and eaten my lunch it was time to head to work again.

On Tuesday I went to Homebase to buy some more crates to hold stuff in, and that's not near Sainsbury's. Of course I could have gone to Sainsbury's as well, but I couldn't be arsed.

Wednesday there is literally no excuse - I could easily have gone to Sainsbury's and dropped it off, but I just couldn't be arsed.

Thursday is washing and shopping day. I drop my washing off at the laundrette and pick up last weeks load and then I go and buy a few bits of shopping. Guess where I buy these? Yup - Sainsbury's. Did I drop the recycling off? Nope.

I did go and have a look at the recycling place, but the door was closed and I couldn't see a way to open it. However, after I'd bought my bits I happened to see someone else open it (bizarrely the opening push-thing is on the inside, so you have to reach your hand in through the bars :/). However, by that time I had to go back to work.

Also, it had actually occurred to me that what I had thought was simply a tip down the road from where I work was actually a proper recycling centre. A quick Google also revealed that its opening time was 8am. Perhaps therefore I should just drop it off as I come in to work?

Well then this morning I had two options and in the end I went for Sainsbury's. So all that fannying around and I did what I should have done earlier in the week anyway.

You see when you think about it, even though I'd gone to Tesco on Monday I could easily have dropped the recycling off after work. Or before work like I did this morning. But I didn't, because I'm rubbish.

See mainly this was because I'm very lazy, but the other part of the problem I think is an issue I have over being embarrassed. I absolutely hate being embarrassed and of course if you've never done something before then the possibilities for getting it wrong and therefore being embarrassed are endless.

I mean, what if I went to this community recycling centre and they told me actually they won't take the things I had? Or if I put them in the wrong bins? Or if something is really heavy and I drop it? These would become excruciatingly embarrassing if one of the people that work there had to somehow fix my mistake or tell me off or something like that.

This is the thing that really tends to hold me back - my mind gets stuck thinking of all the things that could go wrong and that will therefore lead to me being embarrassed and so it's far easier for me to keep being too lazy. And so my entire bed-sit ends up so full of stuff that needs throwing away I can't see the carpet any more :/.