jumper

What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep?

A wholly jumper.

That has absolutely no relevance to the film in question, but is one of the few jokes I can remember. I'm not one for jokes, which isn't to say I don't find them funny or that I have no sense of humour, just I never remember them. I also find people who can trot out dozens of them to be a bit tedious.

Tedious might be taking it a bit far, but the film Jumper isn't all that good either.

It's difficult to put your finger on one reason why, though - it's more like a combination of little things.

First off, the hero, David, is not entirely likeable.

At the beginning he's a nerd who gets bullied. He's got a crush on a girl too, which he doesn't really act on. David's mother is missing, having left when he was five. It's also hinted that David is being physically abused by his father, but unfortunately not in any strong or clear way.

These then are apparently his motivations for his actions following his discovery that he has this power of jumping - the ability to create 'wormholes' and thereby teleport himself elsewhere.

Instead, he robs a bank and proceeds to enjoy the proverbial life of Riley. So, in other words, he doesn't do anything good with the money, or anything specifically bad, he has fun. It's therefore hard to give a shit about him.

This is where the cracks are starting to appear.

David doesn't use his powers to get revenge on his bullies. He doesn't use them to impress the girl. He doesn't' use them to find his mother. He doesn't use them to punish his dad.

Instead he runs away. Now if this were a proper theme - that running away doesn't solve you problems - that would be fine, but it really isn't a theme. It makes no sense.

Just like Samuel Jackson's character Cox makes little to no sense. He's a Paladin who hunts jumpers and kills them. Why, exactly?

We learn nothing about Jackson, the Paladins or their organisation. They are just "the bad guys".

But not only that, when David encounters the bad guys he suddenly decides he needs to go back home and hook up with the girl again. Why, exactly? Surely putting her in danger is a spectacularly dumb thing to do.

I could go on. For example, David with his life of Riley jumps to London and pulls a hot blonde. He's a man with no small amount of swagger and confidence. It also paints him as a bit of a shit, but the main point is that when going back to see the girl he starts acting like a nerd again. This just seems bizarre.

I dunno. They could have done such a better job, but as it is, the film is just sort of inoffensive, bland and a little predictable.