biscuits

Isn't it funny how people can have completely different attitudes and approaches to the simplest of things? A classic example of this, I think, is biscuits.

Now for me, a stale biscuit is the work of Satan.

But, when biscuits do go stale, one of the changes in their character is a shift from crispy and crunchy to soggy and moist. This, fundamentally, is why I hate stale biscuits. A biscuit should snap when you twist it, not bend. That's why, despite all the chocolate and wafery-ness, a kit Kat is still a biscuit, where a mars bar is a chocolate bar. And why a Jaffa Cake is a cake.

However, I'm a great fan of the dunked biscuits. Indeed, when at home and given access to both tea (or coffee) and biscuits, I will inevitably enjoy a session of dunking one into the other.

There's an art to the perfect dunk. You have to time it so that the biscuit is suitably wetened, but not so much that it collapses and half you biscuit falls into your tea. But here's the contradiction - clearly, when dunked, a biscuit is very wet indeed, and I like this. But I hat stale biscuits.

An anti-dunker made this point to me and really they're correct. I was left floundering with the half-hearted riposte of words to the effect that "no, they're not the same" when really the difference is not all that great. But for me the point remains - dunked biscuits are good, but stale biscuits are bad.

If a biscuit has gone even slightly stale I will reject it like an implanted kidney. Biscuit staleness is caused by air getting to the biscuit - a biscuit will only stay crisp if it is protected from the moisture filled terror that is the atmosphere in general. There are several ways to achieve this. First off, you can buy a proper biscuit barrel. These have a little container filled with special moisture absorbing crystals that dry out the air in the tin when the lid is closed.

Alternatively, you can do what I do and ensure that the biscuits effectively remain properly packed in the wrapping the came in. To do this, you only open the biscuits at the top (not the entire pack) and then carefully seal them closed by twisting the loose wrapping and adding sufficient air-tight cling film to prevent deadly atmosphere contamination.

I'm very careful about the above and I know of nobody who likes a stale biscuit, so you'd think other people would be to.

But they aren't. At work, people will brig biscuits in and proceed to open the entire pack and put it into the tin we have. If this were a proper biscuit tin it would be okay, but it isn't, so as quickly as the next day the biscuits will have gone stale. And all they needed to do was take adequate precautions, but I guess they have different attitudes and do different things.

I mean, one person put some biscuits into the fridge. The fridge of all places! That's just asking for trouble. They weren't even chocolate biscuits.