failed

So I failed to pre-write any blog posts over my weekend off.

I got in on Monday and there were more than 50 e-mails for me to deal with as well as a stack of other things to do so I didn't get time to write post.  Heck, I didn't even check my e-mail all day.

To be honest I'm getting a bit sick of this at the moment.  The real problem is that I am essentially on my own with covering the elements I do and while that's okay on one level the trouble is I don't have full control - there is pressure for me to do more than is physically possible.

And that's how come I ended up doing 49 hours a couple of weeks ago.  See, when I look at my timesheet I spent my expected working hours (37.5ish) on the thing I'm supposed to be working on, and then the other 12 hours were on all sorts of crap that I should have been able/allowed to dump but just couldn't.

And that really comes back to me being on my own - if I don't do it then it doesn't happen.  And of course other people are expecting me to pick to do stuff, and we're back to my first point - I end up doing a 49 hour week.

Now if we worked flexi I wouldn't mind so much, but we don't - that's a12 extra hours that I will not see again and won't get overtime for or anything like that.

I have to confess I've started to wonder why I'm still here.  I think I know deep down that the job offer I got before wouldn't have been the right move, but I could have kept on with the job hunting and I'm sure I'd have eventually gotten another offer.

The prime reason for staying and stopping looking altogether were my slightly cryptic posts about "cake later" but there's no evidence that this cake is any further baked than when it was first mentioned.  Indeed, I've a horrible suspicion that oven is being used to bake another cake that I'm not going to get a slice of.

I know that's even more cryptic, but I don't like to be specific in these blog posts as it's not really stuff I should be putting out into the aether.