new job?

There's a bit of a theme to these pre-written posts of reviewing last year - I figured I should look at last year in some detail as, if I'm totally honest, I felt a bit disappointed when I thought about the year while I was on leave.

One of the key things I obviously set for myself was to get a new job.  And I am still in the same job.

Now I feel there were a lot of positives about the process I went through.  Despite the economic climate I was able to get a reasonable number of interviews and to be considered for a number of roles.  That has to be a positive as I know many people struggle to get any interviews.

Another positive is I got a job offer - and a very good job offer at that.  If I look at the job on offer (or probably more the company and circumstance) it wasn't an offer I should have accepted, and didn't.  I do feel this was basically the right decision.

However, what I didn't get right was how it went - I would at one stage have accepted it and basically just "seen what it was like".  If it was going to be a mistake then I felt I needed to make a few mistakes, as it's been so long since I've done anything in my career, I feel like I have to make some changes.

In the end it was my family that gave me the best guidance in this regard; the problem really was that I told my boss about the offer.  What I should have done is rejected it and kept looking, but the problem was several interviews had come to the "end game" and I was getting a bit sick of the whole thing.  Also I was really starting to struggle financially and needed a pay increase and at worst I needed to use the offer as leverage for an improvement in pay and conditions.

However, when this happened there was something of change of circumstance in that I found out about what I've been describing as "cake later".  The problem is that's not come to anything.  There's been no announcement about any sort of cake at all and the real upshot of it is I'm disappointed in myself for believing that the boss was change.

The issues I've always had with the boss and that have become real thorns in my side in recent years aren't going to change.  I'm starting to feel I'm just sticking around here so I can get a lot of money in a few years.  Well, is that really what life is about?

I mean I'd like the money, obviously - particularly as I feel I've been underpaid and undervalued in recent years, but can I honestly stick it out here for another 3 or even four years to get that money?

What about all the other stuff I wanted to do?  Lose weight (Id didn't mention it in the previous post, but a big problem I've had is that with all the extra hours I've ended up doing it's really hard to stop myself comfort eating and finding the time and energy to shop for and put together a healthy meal, rather than buy some junk I can just cram has been a particular struggle).  Buy some new/decent clothes (I've been trading off of "well I'm losing weight and it would cost a fortune to keep refreshing my wardrobe" all year, yet I've gained a stone!).  Find somewhere new to live (can't do that if I'm going to get a new job that might be in a new part of the country!).  Go on proper holidays (can't afford it at the moment, as I'm underpaid!).  Start writing again (first half of the year all my spare time went on job hunting and second half I've been working so much I don't have time to do my laundry, let alone write).

It all just feels like my usual thing of a list of excuses and I've managed to end up in the position of least resistance yet again - same job, no changes... but I'm bored of it all; that was the whole point.

Another issue I've not really mentioned before is I'm not sure I want to stay in this industry.  I can't really discuss the details, but I've started to feel uncomfortable with some aspects of it.  A few years ago it wasn't so bad, as the company did other stuff, but we've become increasingly focused in the one area and I don't really want to be there.

I think what I'm going to do is set a deadline for the boss - if there's no proper announcement by a particular date I might ask to discuss the issue with her directly... or I'll just start looking for a new job again.  It needs to be fairly soon, though - perhaps Easter?