Tuesday 20 July 2010

you will all be my slaves

I stumbled across this the other day.

I've almost no real idea what this site is in any way shape or form (now, I'm hardly going to let that stop me, am I?), but if you scroll down a bit you'll see that it has a chart of some description. This chart is under a heading that clearly says "Ranking".

The only sensible guess (that I'm going to entrain since it lets me write this blog entry that I've already skilfully (okay, slap-dashedly) pre-crafted in my brains) is that it's indicating how amazingly popular and well loved my blog is.

If you hover over each of the points on the graph you can see some pretty big numbers, but they're clearly being charted on a monthly basis. And here's the key point - the numbers may be big, but they're getting smaller as the months go along.

Now normally, shrinkage is something I try to avoid (as it were), but in this case, that means my ranking is going up. I start way down at a paltry 16,537, but I end up an ever-so-slightly less paltry 13,678.

And now here's the clever bit. Using my amazing scientifical education, I can do all sorts of clever maths and work out my rate of ascension. So, by extrapolating into the future, I can predict that sometime in July 2014 - just 4 short years away - my blog will be the most highly ranked.

Although, if I continue the extrapolation, I find that by December of that year mine will officially be the -1,743rd most popular blog. Which doesn't make a lot of sense, so instead I'm choosing to ignore that bit and interpret my findings as meaning that in July 2014 I will officially be crowned king of the blogosphere. Which will definitely be a good thing. I hereby pledge to be a vaguely reasonable ruler that, when asked to recall my time as king, people look back and fondly say "Yeah, he was all right. I guess."

Isn't science a wonderful and marvellous thing?

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